"Please let my son be normal!"
I was a young Father.
My first born son had been diagnosed with Autism two years earlier.
His speech wasn't developing right.
He had many repetitive behaviors.
Often he would cry for a long time for no reason.
who had been born two years after him
was developing normally,
out-pacing her brother.
My wife had been content with just the two of them
but I'd wanted another son.
I wanted a normal son.
My ego wanted a son who would be just like me
and carry on the family name.
The doctors at the time had assured us that
the chances were one in ten thousand
that we would have another child with Autism.
Still, a part of me was afraid.
When we discovered then that
my wife was pregnant with a boy again,
I remember saying this,
over and over and over.
As my third born child grew up,
it soon became clear that
the doctors had been wrong.
It soon became clear that
he had an even more extreme form of
than his older brother had.
While his brother had eventually learned to talk,
my youngest son could say only a few words.
His Autistic behaviors were much more severe.
He had many crying fits
and would hit himself.
He tore things up
and broke things.
He had trouble relating to us
and was lost in his own world.
Life had said, "No" to my prayer.
The journey that followed
has been a long and one
for my sons, my daughter,
their mother, and myself.
It still goes on today.
It has been full of stress and pain
but also learning and growth.
It forced all of us down a path
we didn't want to go,
but it was a path that led us all to greater love,
faith, and kindness.
In the end
my two boys became my greatest teachers
on how to live
and how to love.
My oldest son now is a fountain of kindness
who gives out hugs easily
His younger brother still doesn't speak much
but has a laughter and innate joy
that brightens my soul
each and every day of my life.
I often think that
if I could one day
learn my oldest son's love
and my youngest son's joy
that I would know
how the happiest man in the world feel.
I am no longer mad at my life
either for saying, "No" to my prayer.
If He had said "Yes"
I would never have become the person I am today.
I wouldn't be writing this right now.
I wouldn't be trying so hard to remind my readers
of just how lucky we all are.
life says "No" to something we ask for
in order to give us something much better.
we don't know why
some of our wishes are answered
while others aren't.
All I know is that we are all loved.
Life has a plan for us all.
we just have to trust
even if we don't know the answers.
Live your life with love then.
to lead you down the path
you are meant to go.